Poker Voyeurism

By Amy Calistri

There is a classic scene in the movie "Being There" when Peter Sellers' character says he "likes to watch." He means TV. Shirley MacLane's character assumes he means something totally different and proceeds to...well we won't go there.

I know "learning by doing" is the approach of choice for many aspiring poker players. After all, what could replace the benefits of hands-on experience? And then there is reading. There is some great written material about our game, with more getting published every day. But over the years I've discovered there are rewards for being a poker Peeping Tom. That's right, I confess. I like to watch.

How I Got Hooked:

I came on this poker fetish by accident. At the World Poker Open a few years back, I was too tired to play my "A" game, but still had too much adrenaline pumping to sleep. I decided to watch the final table of a super satellite. With ten people left, there were six seats to the $10,000 final event to be awarded. There was one guy with a monster stack among a number of very short stacks. He had obviously been a bit of risk taker and it had paid off for him. All he had to do was take a nap and fold his way to a seat. But he couldn't. He played every hand until he busted on the bubble. I remember thinking that I had just learned a very important poker lesson - without touching a card or risking a dime. I watched more.

I started to realize that when I play, I don't always focus on learning new things. I'm basically just trying to apply the things I already know. Sometimes I'll make a bonehead play which leaves a mark or make a brilliant observation that I draw on in subsequent games. But most of the time, in the throes of battle, this old dog lacks the objectivity, time, and focus to learn new tricks. And so I started down the jaded path of the poker voyeur.

Internet Spying:

At first, I did most of my spying at B&M venues. But let's face it, some people actually take offense when you peek under their armpit to get a glimpse of their hole cards or when you cry out "Ha! I knew you had a busted flush draw" ...go figure. I then did what any self-respecting pervert would do; I went to the internet to watch. With the proliferation of online poker, you can find literally thousands of unsuspecting players to observe. But I am no longer a novice voyeur, satisfied to watch just anyone or any event. I now have tried and true routines for watching.

Stalking a Player:

For tournament/sng viewing I pick just one person to watch throughout the event. While its good to monitor a great player in action, it is also important to view a not so good one. After all, if we learn from mistakes, think of all the lessons a bad player has to offer. When I identify a player that meets my needs (either great or slightly below average), I try to learn everything they have to offer. What percentage of the time do they see the flop and does that change over time or conditions? Do they defend their blinds? How often do they employ positional raises? Do they vary the size of their raises or do they use a standard raise in relationship to pot size? Do they seem to target weak/tight players? How do they play the classic "problem" hands in poker; a middle pair with an overcard board, an AK that misses the flop, etc? And of course, what range of hands do they play?

Sometimes I seek out specialty players; ones that have a particular skill I feel I lack. For instance, if I consistently end up in the late stages of a tournament with a short stack, I will try to locate a player that is an effective stack builder in the middle stage. If I find that I'm a little weak in my ability to steal blinds, I look for a thief. If I'm feeling like a bridesmaid every time I get heads-up, I look for a player that can consistently bring it home. It might take a little time and patience to locate the right match for your needs. But it's out there. And you will be rewarded when you find it.

Another Game I Play:

To improve my hand/player reading skills, my favorite game to play online is a variation of "Name that Tune" which I call "Name that Hand." For this game, I look for a low limit ring game. For every hand, I write down what I think the players are holding. Sometimes it will be card specific. Sometimes I just note what draw I think they are on. And then at the showdown (almost assured at these limits) I write down what they actually held. At the end of a session like this, you become almost like Rain Man. In fact, once you start playing this game, you will never sit down at a table without watching the play first.

A Side Note About Televised Poker:

While I enjoy watching poker on TV, it seldom satisfies my voyeuristic needs. The biggest shortcoming is the amount of editing. It is very difficult to put the plays you actually see in context when there are so many hands that you don't see. Did a player finally get called down on a big raise because they had raised the three previous hands and someone finally decided to sheriff? That's hard to say when the last three hands weren't shown. Like most voyeurs, I like an uncensored view. Fox Sports recently aired a live broadcast of Turning Stone's American Poker Championship. If more broadcasters follow suit, maybe I'll spend more time in front of the big screen. But for now, the monitor makes a better peephole.

Get Out There - And Watch:

Have you hit a plateau in your game? Do you have a leak and aren't sure how to fix it? Are you trying to learn a new game? Step away from the table - and watch. You will be surprised at how fast you can add to your poker repertoire and learn to avoid some classic pitfalls. And when you do improve, I'll know - because I'll be watching.