A Theory on Poker, Houses and Furniture

By Amy Calistri

There appears to be a correlation between housing, furniture and poker. And I've wracked my brain coming up with a theory that unlocks this mysterious relationship.

I visit poker players where they live; on the felt. As far as I can recall, I've never done an interview or visited a player away from a tournament setting, unless we're talking about the one trip I made to a strip club (very educational and all in the line of duty). But I have a writing buddy of mine that has done a number of interviews chez poker players. Recently he commented on the fact that they, for the most part, lived in beautiful houses...with very little furniture. I chalked this up to one more eccentricity and tucked it away for future pondering.

Then one day at the WSOP, I struck up a conversation with a player's wife. She was witty, charming and candid. And before long we were in the throes of a great gal-to-gal exchange (OK, wine may have been involved). One of the things she mentioned was that when it was her birthday or an anniversary, she never got flowers or jewelry. She always got furniture.

Furniture again. What was it about poker and furniture? My curiosity had now become an obsession.

I remembered a passage from Michael Craig's new book, "The Professor, the Banker and the Suicide King." It was a familiar story about the late great Johnny Moss. One time he had a nice run at the craps table and told his wife to buy the nicest house she could find in Dallas. He wanted her to have the security of a home. Of course by the time she found one, the money was gone. Why did I think of this story in my quest to unravel the furniture mystery?

Why houses? Why not furniture?

While most of us think of a house and furniture as being partners, or means to the same end, in the poker world, it appears they are two very separate things.

Most players would be well served by cheap or transient living quarters, for all the time they spend there. But for players, a house has value beyond a functional space to crash between tournament road trips or long hours at a poker room. A house is collateral. A house is security. A house is an appreciating capital asset. But perhaps most importantly, a house is less liquid than cash.

A house can be tapped (mortgaged) or liquidated (sold). But this takes paperwork. And above all else, it takes forethought and time. You can't reach deep into your pocket at the table and pull out a second mortgage. In a way, a house is the equivalent of a poker player's 401K account. It is a financial safety net. A house, for many players, is a bankroll safe haven of sorts; a way to preserve and remove bankroll from play.

Household furniture, past perfunctory function, is probably little used. It is an afterthought, if thought of at all.

It would also appear that my new friend, whose husband buys her furniture en lieu of jewelry, is indeed a lucky woman. He recognizes that her needs may be different than his. I never considered furniture to be a romantic gesture, but damn it, there it is.

Based on my newfound theory, I believe that housing and furniture may correlate to player status.

So if you want to know what your standing is in the poker world, take my new housing/furniture indicator beta test.

1. Where do you live?

a) I live in a house that I own.
If this is your answer Click Here

b) I live in an apartment.
If this is your answer Click Here

c) I live out of my car.
If this is your answer Click Here

2. Which of the following best describes your bedroom?

a) A mattress with no headboard and a milk crate for a nightstand.
If this is your answer Click Here

b) A bedroom suite with a matching comforter set.
If this is your answer Click Here

c) A mattress with no headboard, a milk crate for a nightstand, and a matching comforter set.
If this is your answer Click Here

This article was published at an earlier date on PokerPages.com and is being rerun due to popular demand.