DUMB AND DUMBER

by Mike Paulle

Some days you wake up stupid, you know what I mean?

David Sklansky writes a column in Poker Digest Magazine called 'Fighting Fuzzy Thinking.' I've wanted to ask David how you 'fight' fuzzy thinking when some days you are unarmed.

The reason I can write a poker advice column is because I've made every mistake you will ever make dozens, maybe hundreds of times. And I STILL make those mistakes.

I don't know much about biorhythms, but there sure seems to be low intellectual days. Real Low! Like yesterday.

I'm in a pot-limit hold'em game. A guy across from me seems to be on tilt. He's complaining to the dealer about everything. This is a guy who earlier reraised before the flop with pocket deuces and spiked a deuce to crush some poor schmuck's pocket Queens.

Another time this same guy limped in with J 10 offsuit and raises when the nut straight comes. He's run down by another player's flush and he's going ballistic.

Ok, so your invincible 'guru' thinks he has something on this nutcase. I'd never seen the guy turn over a big starting hand, so when this dolt raises before the flop I think he's 'steaming' and I reraise with pocket Queens. He calls.

There is now enough in the pot that I can bet $100 on the flop. I have two red queens and the flop comes K x x of Diamonds. I'm trying to deny 'the steamer' pot odds if he picked up a draw. I put him on something like middle pair. If he has A K, I think I still have outs with the second nut flush draw.

I know I'm in trouble when the guy reraises me, going all-in for an extra $50. I figure I'm beat, but the raise is too small an amount to fold for.

Turns out I completely misread the situation. The guy turns over the A 10 of Diamonds for the stone cold macadamians. He flopped the nut flush.

I should have been off the hand on the flop. As the pros say, if you miss one bus (hand) in poker there will be another one coming along in a couple of minutes.

I didn't have enough money in the pot to bet out with such a dangerous board. I should have let the guy have one, if he bets the flop. If he woke up with a hand or even if he bluffs me out, God bless him. I'll get him next time when I get a better flop.

That was dumb, what about dumber?

Ok, so now I'M on tilt. I become determined to get MY money back. (Note that everything I'm doing, I tell you not to do.)

The pot-limit game breaks up with me stuck $170. The problem with stupid days is that you are stupid all day and can't stop being stupid.

I go over to a jam up Omaha Hi-Lo game and play for 12 hours. A couple of times through the night and into the next afternoon, I win more than I'd lost for the night and was up for the session. But the game was so outstanding I didn't quit.

I'm not a kid anymore and I can't stay sharp for 15 hours of poker. I was so tired, at one point I reraised a guy twice with second nuts. That was the 'Dumber' of Dumb and Dumber.

So the upshot is, I had to book a $300 loss for my 15 hours of play because I'd made every mistake in the book. Thank goodness 'stupid days' come so rarely.

I tell you all this so you don't think I come down from some mountain to give you my wisdom. I KNOW what you're going through, trying to win at poker.