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Ace Speaks
The Proper Way To Behave
by Rolf Slotboom

A lot has been written about the proper way to behave at the poker table. Usually, the advice given is directed to the serious players, trying to play poker well or moving up the ranks. It is usually not directed to the bad players. Because they lose so much money, most of us don't really care how they behave. They may be the most unpleasant or obnoxious people in the house- if we can expect to take their money, there is nothing to complain about, right? What's more, a lot of these bad (behaving) players don't read magazines like Card Player on a regular basis, so what's the use in trying to improve their behavior by writing articles they don't read anyway?

The advice.
When authors talk about the proper way to behave, their advice usually comes down to this:

1. Don't curse at the dealers, throw cards etc. The dealers are only doing their job, have no influence on the cards and we need them because without them there is no game.
2. Don't embarrass or criticize the weak players. They might feel unwelcome, might leave or start tightening up and play better, making the game tougher to beat.

Behavior in Europe and the U.S.
People who know me or have played with me know that I'm a European poker player. Most of the time I play in The Netherlands, France or Austria; I play in the U.S. only on rare occasions. There are a few reasons for this: a) the opposition in the U.S. is usually tougher at the limits I like to play, b) there are good games just around the corner for me in Europe; it would be silly to spend lots of money on flights and hotel accommodations when there's no real need to, and c) my favorite game (pot-limit Omaha) has become a huge success in Europe, but isn't as big in the U.S. yet. My reluctance to come over has nothing to do with the overall better behavior by the European players, even though it is true that in general we tend to behave a little bit better than our American counterparts. Quite a few of the (good) European players feel that poker should be fun for everyone, and that even though our ultimate goal is to win money, we should try to create a friendly atmosphere for our lesser skilled opponents. In fact, most of the time our opponents know we are being nice and courteous because we want to take their money, but if the games are exciting and players are laughing and talking, then losing a little doesn't matter that much to them. On my last visit to the U.S., I noticed that some of the better middle-limit players had started acting like this as well -figuring that it's in everybody's interest to play in a pleasant atmosphere- and that players in general seemed to behave a little bit better than they used to. Still, there are quite a few unfriendly or even obnoxious people around- and quite often, it's the more skilled players who behave like this. Part of the problem may be that the people in the U.S. have gotten the wrong examples, because some of the best players used to make it a habit to curse at the dealers or lecture and criticize their opponents. Even now, some of the most talented, most successful players are known for their emotional outbursts, for their inability to cope with the luck factor and the swings of the game, and for ridiculing stupid plays on occasion. If a young player, who has just picked up poker, sees the best players are acting like this, what is he supposed to think? He can either think: "hey, I don't like the way this guy acts, I'm going to do things differently", or, more likely, he will think this is the way a good player is supposed to act. Thus, he may start behaving like that himself, trying to prove how good a player he already is, and making matters only worse.

During the annual Master Classics of Poker tournaments in Amsterdam, I have had the honor to meet some of the most famous American players like (among others) T.J. Cloutier, Mike Sexton, John Bonetti and Phil Hellmuth Jr., who all decided to come over and check out the action here. While some of them acted very nice and friendly and were in fact a pleasure to meet, I was surprised to see that not all of them showed the same amount of class when they were in the game. For example, I witnessed how Mr. Bonetti cursed at the dealers non-stop, and acted as if no other player but him knew how to play the game. Now I am sure that he's a great player (in fact, the results speak for themselves; it is a great accomplishment for someone to become this successful, especially when taking into account his age) and lots of people have told me that he is actually one of the nicest and friendliest guys around- now why doesn't he act like that when the cards are in the air? At the same time, I saw Mr. Hellmuth -one of the most successful tournament players ever, someone who has more bracelets than you and I or anyone reading this magazine might ever get- ridiculing his lesser skilled opponents for calling raises with insufficient values, and saying things like "you guys still have a lot to learn, I would never play cards like that, don't you know who I am" etc. With all the respect that I have for their knowledge of the game and their obvious poker skills, I cannot understand why someone would ever say things like that. Without the presence of these supposedly weaker players, most professional players would have no living at all. To be more concrete: if Mr. Hellmuth, Mr. Bonetti and a few other top players would only play each other, then there wouldn't be much of an overlay, right? Now, while I can understand that some of the wannabees would resort to this type of behavior (in order to prove how good they already are), if some of the best players in the world routinely behave like this, then I think we have a serious problem.

My view.
In my opinion, it is a good thing to try to make your lesser skilled opponents enjoy the game- after all, enjoyment is what they came for. One of the best ways to make money in poker is when the recreational players actually enjoy playing with you- but then you should not make them feel uncomfortable, of course. I know that in the really big games all of this may not be that much of an issue. Because there everybody knows how to play at least to a certain degree, and because most of the regulars have been around for quite some time, they are used to all different kinds of behavior, and therefore are not that easily offended anymore. Still, in my opinion proper behavior should start at the top. The best players should be aware they are role models for thousands of people who have just picked up the game. If the new players feel intimidated by the behavior of their more experienced opponents, they may become even more scared of poker than they already are, and decide to simply quit the game- or improve and get tougher to beat. If, on the other hand, the professional players are nice and courteous towards the newbies, they might feel more welcome, enjoy themselves more and do nothing to improve their gaming skills -even though they almost always lose-, simply because they are having such a good time. If people start to think that someone who is nice and friendly cannot be a good player ("because good players don't act like that"), a bad thing for poker has happened.

Take care, you guys, and good luck.