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Ace Speaks
Things that make you go Hmmm… (part I)
by Rolf Slotboom

I started playing poker for a living in the spring of 1998. It is now almost six years later, and I have achieved more than I ever imagined possible. I have become one of the top money players in Europe, not because I make big scores all the time but, more importantly, because of my consistency. I have become a pretty successful columnist for the first-class Card Player, having begun my writing career at the -now demised- Poker Digest magazine. Various poker sites have asked me to do things for them on the Internet, and I have become the official reporter for Holland Casino's annual Master Classics of Poker tournament. Even with all these exciting things going on, my poker results just keep getting better and better, and I still love the game as much as when I first started.

Does this all mean that I only see the good side of poker, and that I close my eyes for the bad things that are also part of the game? Of course not. It is just that I usually like to highlight the good parts of the game, rather than reinforce superstitions and prejudice that people may have. Having said that, I will use today's column to discuss the not-so-good side of the poker game, and share with you some experiences I have had during my years as a pro.

• My girlfriend Elvira and I are on holiday in the U.S., traveling the West Coast, and we decide to visit one of the biggest casinos in Vegas to play a little poker. Because we like to play at the same table -this being our holiday-, we opt for a $3-6 limit hold'em game, even though I normally play in higher- and pot-limit games only.

  Having said that, even for small stakes I always try to play my best game, and as readers of this column know, in my case this usually means I'm not involved in very many hands. At that time, a new dealer comes to the table and enters the box while recognizing me as that European professional player/writer. Some twenty minutes later, I finally play my first hand against a tourist who calls my AK raise holding ace-ten only, and who can't get away from his hand once an ace flops.

  When the dealer pushes the pot to me, the tourist starts complaining and curses his bad luck for flopping top pair and then losing to his kicker. The dealer replies that in his opinion, the tourist shouldn't have played the hand in the first place. He explains that since I'm a professional player, folding so many hands, my under-the-gun raise would probably mean a high pair, or two very big cards, and that therefore this ace-ten was likely to be dominated: not good enough to enter the pot with. Elvira -a dealer herself- and I look each other in the eye. Hmmm...

• A well-known high-stakes gambler walks into the poker pit, and asks what kind of game we are playing. We say: "Our regular game: pot-limit Omaha, blinds $10 and 10, buy-in $500."

  "Gee, that's playing for pennies", the high-roller remarks. "Call me once you've got a real game going."

  Two years later, he owes a total of al least fifty grand ($50,000) to various players in our game, and he is said to have left the country for good. Hmmm...

• At the showdown, it is time for a well-known lady angle-shooter and her extremely inexperienced opponent to open their hands. The lady, who -according to the rules- has to open first, announces: "Flush", while keeping her cards facedown. Her opponent, unable to beat this, folds his hand, and the dealer pushes the pot towards the lady. When she is asked to open her cards though, it becomes clear that she doesn't have the two hearts she is supposed to have, but a heart and a diamond, for an ace-high only, no-pair hand.

  Her extremely inexperienced opponent, having folded the winner, now protests, but the brush says that even though the lady had announced her hand wrong, this does not mean she cannot have the pot. The brush adds that it is one's duty to protect one's hand, and to fold only after one has seen the other person's cards, because vocal statements are simply not binding. The lady stacks her chips, having gotten away with yet another angle-shot. Hmmm...

• An off-duty floorman, let's call him James, is playing in a $200 buy-in pot-limit Omaha game. After having played for a couple of hours, and having had a few drinks too many, an argument arises between him and one of the regular players.

  This man -let's call him John- is known for his emotional outbursts and has a history of violent attacks against players and personnel alike. Now, this regular is involved in a hand and loses a big pot to James. Immediately, he starts complaining in his usual loud manner and questions not just how his opponent has played this hand, but also his abilities as a floorman: to be more concrete, he thinks James is not just a horrible player, but a horrible floorman as well.

  James quickly replies that this analysis may very well be right, since any good floorman would have barred him for life a long time ago. Now John gets up immediately, drags the floorman out of his chair and starts punching him in the face as hard as he can. Three men security are not enough to calm down the man, who smacks, strikes and punches James wherever he can. Even though everyone expects the offensive, aggressive John to get a serious punishment this time, management claims that since the floorperson was out of line too, John is not the only one to blame, and therefore cannot be held solely responsible for his actions.

  After being asked politely to please stay a bit more calm in the future, John is allowed to simply return to the table, and that's the end of it. "Deal me in", he orders the dealer, who is unsure what to do, and whether or not to oblige to John's request.

  In the end, the dealer does what is asked -dealing everybody in-, and play simply resumes, as if no incident has occurred at all- with both James and John continuing in the game. Nobody says a word. Hmmm...

Some final words.

In the next issue, I will discuss some more things I have experienced in poker that might raise one's eyebrows. Until then, I hope you will catch lots of aces- and win with them.