Poker Articles

Having trouble with poker terminology? Open a new window and follow along with our poker glossary.

Ace Speaks
Things that make you go Hmmm… (part II)
by Rolf Slotboom

In the first part of this article, I described some things in poker I have experienced over the years, that are not perfect by any means. Actually, I shared some situations regarding the dark side of poker- which, as you probably know, I don't do very often. (I usually like to highlight the positive, rather than reinforce the negative aspects of the game). So, before I get any second thoughts about writing this article's second part, let's get down to business immediately, and discuss some more shocking, funny, weird and outright horrible situations.

• A pro player has won four big pots in only two hours of play, and is up for a lot more than could normally be expected. In fact, he has only played four hands, and therefore has a 100% score so far. He is cheering, smiling and joking, acting like he's in total control, his big pile of chips being only a logical result of his far superior play. Then, on hand No. 5 he finally faces a little adversity, when one of his opponents catches a lucky river to beat his top pair / top kicker. His good mood is over immediately. In total disgust, he throws his cards towards the dealer, and shouts at his opponent how lucky he has been, while cursing his own bad luck. The pro is still the biggest winner in the game, having won four pots out of five. Hmmm...

• A wannabe pro has entered the casino, and is checking out the action. He also walks over to our pot-limit game, but with no real intention to actually take a seat: usually, he only plays in our game when he has lost big in the limit games, in which case he will join us to recoup his losses in one lucky shot. One of our regular players asks him if he wants to join, as we still have two or three open seats. "No", the wannabe pro responds, "I only play when there's at least three fish in the game. Today, I see only one fish (looks this specific player in the eye), and that's not enough for me." Then, he walks over to one of the limit tables and takes a seat there, convinced everybody will view him as a wise, good and tough professional. Hmmm...

• We are playing in a high-stakes game, pot-limit Omaha, high only. With eight players and a total of more than $30,000 on the table, this is a big game even by our standards. A hand comes up with a flop 7-7-small. There is some action, and the turn brings another -irrelevant- small card. Two players remain to see the river, which is another seven: three sevens are now on the board. Within seconds, both remaining players have all their chips in the middle, with the first player announcing: "I've got four sevens." His opponent's reaction: "Yeah, me too"- and indeed, they both come up with the remaining seven of spades. The brush is called over to our table, with the five sevens that are lying there staring him in the face. He nonchalantly shakes his head, mumbles something like "Accidents do happen", and goes back to what he does normally (which is usually close to nothing, in his case).

  A few days later, we are in the same game when I notice that the deck seems to be a bit thicker than usual, so I ask the dealer for a count. This time, the deck contains 54 cards! Once again, the brush is called over- the same one we had before. He simply takes the old deck off the table, and hands over a new one to the dealer, not even trying to apologize for this ongoing negligence. In the meantime, some players are stuck thousands of dollars and others have won huge, possibly because of the extra cards in the deck. Hmmm...

• We are sitting in a nine-handed big pot-limit Omaha game, when one of the regular players walks over to the table. Usually, this player is always present when the game starts, but circumstances have caused him to be a little late this time- which is totally out of character for him. Because the rule book says "nine players only", this player cannot join, even though there's actually not a real reason why the game should not be played ten-handed: after all, the tables are big enough, and there are enough cards in the deck.

  It needs to be said that even though this player always behaves in a very correct manner, he is not popular with all players. Some players view him as a nit, some as a dangerous, tight but highly aggressive player, others as a professional they fear, simply because he knows what he's doing- and therefore is likely to take their money. The nit says he will be going to the bathroom, and then to the cashier to change some money. He adds that he will be gone for no more than ten minutes, meaning that if an open seat comes available he will back in time to take it.

  Now, while he's gone, a very live player enters the poker pit, one who has arrived to play in this big game too. Within seconds, some of the players have added a tenth chair to the table, even though, as stated, this is usually not allowed. As expected, the new player creates lots of extra action: the average pot is now three or four times the size it was before, and players are cheering and shouting because of the excessive action.

  The nit notices this too when he returns from his bathroom visit, and asks the brush why his seat was not reserved. In fact, he is not just angry that the game is suddenly ten-handed -which was not possible before, when he entered- but also that another player is now occupying the seat that was supposed to be his- after all, he was first on the list, right? The brush replies that he had not seen the new player coming in, and acknowledges that things had not gone exactly the way they should have, but that since the new player has now completed a couple of hands already, he cannot be forced to leave anymore: he now simply has the right to this seat.

  About thirty minutes later, the live one quits the game, having lost a few grand, to try his luck on the roulette or the craps table. Immediately, the tenth seat is being removed from the table by two of the players so that once again, the nit cannot enter the game. Play resumes nine-handed with the nit still being forced to wait, with the brush doing nothing to help him. But, according to the seat-removing players it was all nothing personal, and the nit should not feel offended: they simply had not noticed the game was nine-handed already when the live one walked into the room, and now they have simply made up for the initial mistake they had made. How come I know all of this? I was the nit. Hmmm...

Some final words

While the game of poker has been great to me, and I still love the game as much as when I first started, it would not be right to close my eyes for the bad things that are also part of it. I hope you have enjoyed these stories that I've shared with you; believe me, they are all very true! I also hope that maybe you have learned a few things along the way- hopefully, you will have learned things you should not do, think or say. In the next couple of articles, I"ll be back to poker strategy again. Until then, I hope you will catch lots of aces- and win with them.