Home Poker

If You Ain't Interested...
By Squeege

It's a special game of stud with one down and six up. With six betting rounds altogether, Player X folds early and then watches the game with half-interest for a minute or so before realizing that the next hand is a long ways away. Player X's attention turns away from the table in longer and longer spurts, until finally, he picks up a magazine and chuckles through it until the game is finished and a new one is dealt.

What's the etiquette here? Are the reading and general occupying of oneself once folded from the game against the Poker law? The answer is an easy one...you're damn right. If you ain't interested, then at least make an effort to hide it.

I have no qualms with the guy who folds and rushes to the washroom so that he's relieved before the next one is dealt. Actually, I have a great respect for that. It reduces the likelihood of bottlenecks on the way to the john. But, it's a slap in my face if I'm involved in a hand where a folded player picks up some reading to pass the time.

"So Squeege (or Squeeze, as I'm called in e-mails for some reason), what do you suggest? What's it matter what I do? I'm out of the hand. Am I confined to my seat?"

No, you're not confined to your seat. That's why the guy who runs to the john or fixes himself a drink in the kitchen is not offending me. The guy who pulls out a magazine, or asks that he be told when the next game is being dealt while he leaves the table to channel-surf...now, that's the guy that's offending me.

I'm still involved in this hand. I still find this hand exciting. When you make obvious your complete lack of interest, it's a profound insult. Put yourself in my place. How would you feel if you were trying to soak in the table's atmosphere of excitement and friendly tension, when suddenly, the air is cut by the sound of pages turning by somebody all too eager to see this one finished and the next one dealt?

There are tactful ways to occupy oneself without insulting me. How 'bout making that drink? How 'bout watching the hand and trying to learn something from it? How 'bout dividing your attention between the television and the game? How 'bout changing that CD? How 'bout bearing in mind that there is still a table of players taking this hand seriously?

Adapted from HomePoker.com