Poker Articles

You're a Fine One, Mr. Cinch
By David Hench

The players were sporting their holiday cheer But not Mr. Cinch as Christmas grew near

Mr. Cinch hates Christmas for one basic reason It costed him money all through the season

His nose was too big, his spirit too small In matters of giving he never stood tall

His nose was Vesuvias, his eyes beady slots He plotted and schemed to steal money from pots

He hoarded his chips and stacked them up tall He stacked them so high they surely would fall

He folded and folded and checked all the time He wanted a receipt when he anted a dime

Every player in the game gambled a lot But Cinch had the nuts when he played a pot

Everyone tipped, for winners and drinks But Cinch kept his checkers and sure as he stinks

He got a comp for the buffet, a sumptuous feast Potatoes and bread, and juicy roast beast

He ate like a pig and then didn't tip On matters of giving he wasn't too hip

Back to the game he slinked and he slunk He belched and worse, and smelled like a skunk

Back at the table he got back in his chair His face was a green one, with oily hair

A new player had been seated - jolly St. Nick When he saw The Cinch his heart felt just sick

Santa hatched him a plan to try to help out To help Mr. Cinch learn what Christmas was about

So Santa checked him the nuts - an old Cinchy-trick Went over the top and busted him quick

Cinch slunk in his chair and whined and complained In matters of crying, The Cinch was ordained

The Cinch had no backers, no friends for a loan He made the bed, and slept in his own

But Santa surprised him with a jolly Ho-Ho "What was the problem?" he wanted to know

Cinch groveled and moped but couldn't explain Why someone so stingy (and so much in pain) Should get any help (from anyone sane)

But Santa knew better and gave from the heart Cinch realized that that was a start

That life was more than profit and it wasn't just How many chips you could hoard, or players you could bust

His bankroll was gone but he was richer that day And he helped St. Nick load up his sleigh

Read'em and weep, The Cinch could be you Or someone you know, says Santa - that's who!

Merry Christmas from,

The Cinch